Family Dinners

From the time I can remember and all the way through high school, my family always had sit-down dinners together. It was not just on a Wednesday night, or a Sunday night like a lot of families, we had it EVERY night. Until I was in high school I do not remember missing a single dinner. Once in high school the only excuse from dinner you could have was work or academic activities. This was our story-telling/story-making venue.

This was not a tradition passed down through either my mother or my father's family, but one they created together. Both of my parents come from divorced families. Their parents divorced in the 1960s, when divorce was still looked upon as shameful and deviant. It clearly affected both of my parent's outlook on parenting and marriage, so they created this tradition of always being together for dinner.

When I was little, I loved having dinner together with the family, it was a great time, and we all enjoyed each others company. As we aged however, it became such a burden to make sure I had absolutely NO PLANS from 5:30-6:30pm everyday. Dinner would consist of either my mother, me, or my sisters preparing dinner. One of us setting the table, one of us clearing the table, and one of us doing dishes afterwards. We were on a rotation. I remember when I was in middle school my dad even made a calendar with lists of whose turn it was each night. When we became older and would have to miss dinner, we would have to make sure that someone else was willing to cover our duties for the night. My sisters and I would generally barter for either clothing, future duties, or keeping secrets. It was a great system.

As I look back on it now, I see it as an exercise in consideration for others. My mom and dad wanted us to see how important it is to take time with your family and the people you love, even if it is inconvenient or tasking. We don't often get together for family dinners anymore, and although each of us conduct thoroughly busy lives, we take time to talk on the phone, almost everyday, just to see how everyone is doing.